Payal Karnik

The REAL reason why relationships suffer and how to avoid it!

Payal Karnik — Thu, 11 Feb 2021 14:41:37 +0000

So here we are! Already in the month of February – a month dedicated to love Since the pandemic hit the world last year, many people had to spend weeks or months away from their families and loved ones. But there were also those who had the unexpected opportunity to stay together. During this time, we heard stories of couples and families that came out stronger than ever before, and also those who struggled to keep up with the sudden changes – even causing many relationships to be on a brink of separation.

So what was missing?

Well, the reasons could be varied. But what is important now is to focus on the root of this. Some might argue that Valentine’s Day is nothing but commercial attempt to dig a hole in our pockets, while some still like to take this opportunity to do something special for their loved ones. So let us also take this opportunity to fix the root by giving love to the person we often end up neglecting… but is the most deserving of our love, care and attention! Who is that person? – That person is YOU my friend.

So why not begin the month of February by loving yourself first.

Here are 3 things you can start with if you’re falling out of love with yourself:

Engage in regular life clean-up! Do not spend your precious energy on activities and conversations that make you feel unworthy.
Keep a running list of things that you’re most proud about yourself and place it where you can easily access it.
Commit 1hr a day for a self-love ritual of your choice, i.e., your me-time activity. This is very important for you to revive and reset.

When your cup is full… you will be able to give more and suffer less. There will also be less of searching and more of attracting love and positive opportunities in your life.

Done reading? Now start doing!

Keep loving… and keep growing.

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When Anger becomes the Hunger

Payal Karnik — Fri, 11 Sep 2020 20:53:58 +0000

When was the last time you were angry? Few weeks ago? Days ago? Hours…or just minutes? Whenever it may be, we certainly do fall prey to this undesired lower emotion. Here’s something for you to ponder upon…

What do you do when you’re hungry? You eat. What happens when you feed yourself? You get energy, you function and you thrive. What happens if you stop feeding yourself and don’t give attention? You probably might not survive.

Similarly,

What happens when you’re angry? You express, or perhaps suppress. Eitherways, you are giving it attention and essentially feeding it! By constantly feeding the anger, you give it energy to thrive and it influences the way you function. Once you stop giving attention or feeding the anger, it fades away.

The transformative way is to starve the anger and feed the goodness. This is how…

Observe: Observe your feelings and take notice of the situation. In the initial stages, it is completely normal if the observation only takes place after the outburst. Awareness builds with practice.

Discern: Do you like how it feels or are you just used to it? How you feel emotionally and mentally certainly does affect your performance, but it also has undesired impact on the physical wellbeing as suggested by psychosomatic medicine research, as well as bioplasmic body studies. So be kind to yourself and take care of your emotional and mental well-being. It is not ‘cool’ to experience less than optimal health and performance.

Understand: Understand that not every situation, external reaction or result is under your control. But you can control your viewpoint and influence it. In other words, everyone views situations from the lenses they wear and act on it based on their reality. How this information is received by others depends on the filter they carry, i.e., what they absorb and reject. Realizing and accepting this fuels the transmutation process.

Re-direct: Focus your attention and energy on what sustains your desired wellbeing and results.

It’s certainly a gradual process, but a definite solution. Even better, it can be used to tackle any other unwanted emotions or situations. A testimony of its application is a case of my client who was facing multiple health issues for years and experiencing excruciating headache for a month. The root cause being stress, worry and mild anxiety. Using this approach the constant headache went away just after our first coaching conversation and the overall health continues to improve significantly. How did that happen? Not by magic, but by feeding the right thoughts and emotions.

So the next time your anger becomes the hunger, feed the goodness instead!

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Breaking Patterns

Payal Karnik — Fri, 11 Sep 2020 20:47:53 +0000

Ever faced a situation where you are stuck in an endless cycle with no way out? As if someone has hit life’s ‘Repeat’ button and forgot to press ‘Stop’. For some, the situation would be analogous to this little hamster.

However endless as it may seem, these are the precise times when we could use some persistence to break-free from the recurring pattern!

Whether it is work, health, finances or relationships, we all have come across a pattern where we are stuck at some point in life. It could be a pattern of a repeating situation like an unfulfilling job, relationships, or even an opportunity in your face that you resist to embark upon.

The natural instinct would be ‘fight or flight’. Taking flight may not be a wise option, as the pattern has somehow mastered the skill to endlessly haunt us. Fight might seem like a brave move; however, an aimless fight could just lengthen the whole process, thus ending up stuck in the same unfulfilling pattern.

In my coaching conversations, some of the common patterns that my clients go through revolve around unfulfilling jobs or relationships. A very good example would be the tendency to quit an unfulfilling job, just to end up in another one with the same challenges and frustrations. It’s like a brand-new movie with the same plot, just a different set/location & actors.

How then, can we break a pattern and achieve breakthrough? It’s by facing the situation with the right tools and proper guidance. Instead of going head on, take a step back to first identify the mechanics of the pattern – not as it seems on the surface, but the underlying tendencies that cause the reoccurrence. When one of my coaching clients, Mandy (name changed), approached me, she had changed 4 jobs in 2 years, but her frustration remained. She tried the flight way, but now decided to fight. However, this would not be possible if Mandy continued the same historical behavior in every situation. The below guide is a simple tool to break patterns and achieve breakthrough.

3-step Guide to Inner Transformation:

1. Embrace: The first step is to accept the presence of a situation and face it. Acknowledge the emotions and feelings attached to the dissatisfaction with complete honesty and non-judgmental attitude towards self. Ignoring or procrastinating will only suppress the emotions that will eventually build up within like a pressure cooker waiting to explode. In Mandy’s case, the underlying tendency was her lack of confidence in her abilities and expectation of others to drive her career growth.

2. Empower: After identifying and accepting the root cause, the next step is to plan the approach, i.e., to empower with the right tools. The unwanted and ineffective tendencies have to be replaced by thoughts and emotions that can fuel the desired outcome. Mandy resisted the temptation to give up and quit. Instead, with regular coaching, she started to take on the challenges at work and excel in it.

Tip: Keep what is required and eliminate what is a hindrance. Then aim and fire.

3. Execute: This final step is about putting the plan into action and achieving the breakthrough. With persistence, determination and proper guidance, Mandy gained the confidence boost that she was seeking, and she recorded her achievements for career growth.

Will the pattern continue? Certainly! In fact, it will persist until one takes the right action. We cannot change our surroundings, but we can equip ourselves to influence our surroundings. With inner transformation, one can surpass it successfully. The result may not be achieved overnight and failures along the way are evident. The key is to view these challenging situations as an opportunity for growth.

But is that the end? Absolutely not!

Each pattern and a successful breakthrough is a step up to a new and refined you. When one pattern breaks, another appears; and we level up higher each time we overcome a new pattern. The moment these patterns stop appearing, is the moment we stop growing.

So next time when you feel like the little hamster running endlessly, you could either continue to wallow in the mud, or take charge to Embrace, Empower and Execute a breakthrough!

Choice is yours!

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Who’s your Boss?

Payal Karnik — Fri, 11 Sep 2020 20:44:26 +0000

After an inspirational lunch conversation with a friend, she made a comment which is not uncommon. She said, “Payal, all this is great but isn’t it just a fancy theory? It’s easy to understand but making it work is a different story altogether.”

Sounds familiar?

While I agree that transformation is a process, I also believe that with consistent investment, the result is guaranteed (yes, I mean it). Take a moment to ponder…

Is this limiting thought our truth or a mass belief system?

Are these limitations facts or perceived barriers appearing real?

What are you programming your brain to believe? It’s a tool that is in your control…direct it the way you want.

And lastly, whom do you want to be in charge of your reality? The belief of the masses or your burning need to bring about that shift?

There’s nothing (except you) that can stop you from achieving your success once you have made the determination with consistent action.

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Tackling Performance Roadblocks

Payal Karnik — Fri, 11 Sep 2020 20:41:35 +0000

Judging others is often spoken about. But have we given a thought about how often do we judge ourselves?

It is disheartening for me to hear the most capable youth, employees and even leaders collapsing because they feel they have hit the roadblock. Some choose to suffer in silence, while others look for an escape.

Pause at this very moment, and think

Are we not judging our capabilities? Are we not limiting our potential?

Yes, the situation might paint a different story. But are you not capable of re-designing it?

I am a firm believer that we will never face a situation that we are not capable of transforming. The question is, do we want to?

If you don’t believe in yourself, who will? When you are feeling incapable, even if you don’t say it…

Your body language shows it

Your expressions shout it

The tone of your voice screams it

And your words spill it.

Most likely, you will receive a dissatisfactory response or result. This needs to change.

It is not about creating a false image or having false hope. But it is about believing in your capability and turning it into action. Try this…

Accept and detach. Accept what is, but let go the pain. It is now the past.
Experience being. Observe the present moment without judgement.
Recollect your last achievement or positive moment.
Feel it as if it is happening right now.
Note down your traits that got you there.
Apply those traits in the present situation.
Review and assess.

If need be, re-strategize and implement.

Doing this will clear away most of the fog and give substantial clarity. Roadblocks are a way of telling you that something that we are doing is not working. It is an opportunity for a desired change. You may even need to discard some of the old ways that do not serve you in the present situation and adopt new ways with a clear mind.

It is true that the current situation is a result of our past actions, but it is also true that we are in charge of our present actions and subsequent results. So, when people say – this is destiny, I say, “Destiny meets you halfway for you to create one.”

What do you wish to create?

If this a situation you, your team or someone you know is facing right now, feel free to drop me a note and I will be happy to share additional techniques to suit that situation.

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Now, that’s the time for a COOKIE!

Payal Karnik — Fri, 11 Sep 2020 20:37:54 +0000

Few weeks ago I wrote about how we can raise our thinking from lower to higher vibration and feel good every moment. Not surprisingly what followed was…

‘What about other people who just don’t want to change?’

You are all pepped-up and ready to make things happen, but what about the unwilling people in your surroundings?

Notice what happens – Our entire focus turns to these people and the possible things that can go wrong. We already program our mind to believe it and subconsciously look for that evidence.

People are fascinating. They are complex, they are intriguing, and they have all the solutions when nudged in the right direction. While there isn’t a cookie cutter approach when dealing with humans, we can definitely give them a COOKIE itself. Here’s how…

Recipe for a great COOKIE:

C – converse: Conversations are necessary, but what matters more is the attitude we walk in with. Approach, not to confront but to understand their perspective.

O – observe their story: Provide a safe space for them to open up and have a non-judgemental attitude. This is crucial, as we humans are so habituated to judge. But it’s possible.

O – organize the information: Make sense of it with the previously adopted non-judgemental mindset and clarify by asking questions. Most people operate from an underlying fear or worry that needs to be addressed.

K – know your focus: Direct the conversation based on the information gathered.

I – involve their ideas: People are more engaged and produce better results when directly involved in the planning process – especially when brining their own ideas and solutions to life.

E – execute the plan: Come to an agreement of next steps with SMART goals and necessary resources/support to make it work.

Giving a COOKIE will surely bring a certain amount of sweetness and fulfilment in the way you interact going forward. So, keep the concern aside and enjoy the COOKIE

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Not getting what you deserve? Try this

Payal Karnik — Fri, 05 Jul 2019 08:27:55 +0000

How often do we see people cribbing, complaining or feeling disappointed in a workplace for not receiving their due recognition, the desired compensation or an ideal situation? Do we also slip into this downer mode sometimes?

~ If you have a great job role, but a mediocre package….be grateful for the learning that comes with that role.

~ If you have a great package, but ineffective colleagues…be grateful for the financial security.

~ If you have a supportive boss, but unfavorable work environment…be grateful for having a mentor at work.

And if you have none of the above…be grateful that you could recognize that and work towards fueling your desired situation.

Turn to the brighter side in every step, every situation for the next few weeks….and observe the changes in your mindset > your attitude > your behavior > and finally your results over time. I would be more than happy to hear about it

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Quick Tips for Positive Mindshift

Payal Karnik — Fri, 05 Jul 2019 08:27:53 +0000

Have you ever kept track of the number of times you consciously or unconsciously slip into negative thinking & negative self talk?

Well I caught myself doing that couple of times…that’s what makes us human, isn’t it? I would say yes, and I will add on that it is because we are human, we have the power and ability to shift that!

Lower vibration thinking pulls our energy, state of mind and results down. If you notice yourself going lower, do this simple transmutation task which will change the way you perceive yourself, as well as boost self confidence & thought clarity. Here are some examples…

Lower vibration:

I am great at this BUT…

Higher vibration:

I am great at this and I could refine it by…

Lower vibration:

I wish I was as good as….

Higher vibration:

I really admire this quality in him/her. What can I learn from them?

*Note – You don’t have to be them. Take inspiration and drive it using your natural strengths.

Lower vibration:

I am stuck and going nowhere with this….

Higher vibration:

Let me find a way to tackle this and seek help from someone who can guide me through this.

Try this out for a week and gradually for a month and more to experience the shift. I look forward to hear about your progress

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